Tales From An Older Mother
The Joys Of Parenthood
Everyone will give you their thoughts and experiences on being a parent, but if there is one thing that I have definitely learnt, it is that everybody’s experiences are different.
I always knew I wanted kids, and I always thought that I’d have them young. Ah, that was a long time ago now, in the days when I wore rose coloured glasses. The reality was that the day before my 36th Birthday I got married! And by my 1st wedding anniversary I was five months pregnant.
The pregnancy was planned in the sense that we both wanted kids and we knew that time was not necessarily on our side, so we stopped taking any form of contraceptives and let nature take its course.
When I found out I was pregnant you could have knocked me down with a feather, because although we had been actively trying to conceive, when you do that pregnancy test and it comes up positive you know that life will never be the same again.
I was excited and scared in equal doses. When I told my husband, he made me do another pregnancy test – because he couldn’t quite believe it.
At the time I found out I was pregnant, I had just been made redundant and my husband was doing contract work. So financially the pressures hit home immediately. (But if you are in a similar position try not to worry as nine months is normally plenty of time to find a suitable job).
My pregnancy was actually a breeze. I didn’t suffer a lot of the minor irritants i.e. morning sickness, heartburn, bad back etc. I kept quite fit by walking and my diet was healthy on the whole – but I did use pregnancy as an excuse to stuff my face with anything I fancied because I “Craved” it!!!
After a very uneventful pregnancy it was time to give birth, this is where it becomes more exciting. My water broke at approximately 2 am on the Sunday morning, I was so excited and I thought this is it!!!
When I went to my local hospital to be checked I was so disappointed to hear that nothing was happening and to return home with an appointment in place for the following morning. That evening I started to get backache, which was uncomfortable but not unbearable. At last things were on the move!!!
My appointment was for 8am on the Monday morning, but as I had, by 7 am started to get what I thought were quite regular contractions – we went in slightly earlier; this also helped in avoiding the Monday morning traffic jams.
Once I reached hospital I was monitored and had several checks, these showed that I was only 1.5cm dilated, but that my blood pressure was looking dangerously high. So whereas most mums-to-be might have been sent home, I was now in for the birth.
I had a cannula put into the back of my left hand, this apparently is quite standard, but as I hate anything to do with needles, I didn’t enjoy the experience. I was also given a shot of pethidine; I believe this was given to me to help lower my blood pressure. A TENS machine was introduced to me, and I had the pads stuck to my back and was shown how to use it.
I was also hooked up to a drip that would help advance my contractions, as everything was going very slowly. Lastly, I was introduced to my best friend “Gas and Air”, this really made labour bearable, but it did give me pins and needles in my face and made my voice really croaky. All this for the girl who was going to have a “Natural Water Birth,” (high blood pressure and water births do not go together because of the risk of fitting.)
Well, ladies, I can only tell you that minutes turned quickly into hours. I’d stupidly given my husband the control for the TENS machine thinking that as he was good with the remote control for the TV at home that he’d be a dab hand at that ( he wasn’t!!!).
My contractions helped by the drip had finally got to 10cm dilated, now in all the books I’d read about childbirth this phrase was used quite a lot “The urge to push is irresistible” well not for me it wasn’t. By this time I was completely exhausted, as I hadn’t slept since my waters broke. But I was determined to finally meet my baby and I just wanted to get it over with. I did initially wait for these urges to push but as they never came I pushed my baby out under my own steam.
Once the head crowned, I was asked if I wanted a mirror to see the babies head – no bloody fear, I didn’t want to see how stretched and swollen I was down there. After half an hour of serious pushing my baby was born, with a head that looked like Mr Whippy ice cream. The baby was delivered onto my tummy and covered with a blanket, I was loving and bonding with my baby so much, that it was a least 5 minutes before I found out my baby was a boy!!!
Mothering instinct kicked in quick, when my husband asked “What’s the matter with his head?” “Nothing he’s perfect!!!” (The elongated head issue was back to normal by the next day).
All in all, I’d been in labour for twenty-seven and a half hours, but you are on such a high after you’ve given birth that I continued to stay awake just holding and loving my little miracle. The reality hits home, you will now be a mother until the day you die, this little bundles welfare is your responsibility, and will you be able to cope?
A word to the wise, enjoy as much sleep as you can store in your sleep bank. Do all the wild and reckless things you want to do before you have kids!!! But most of all be aware of how mightily blessed you have been and appreciate each waking moment with the new little person you have produced.
Luc was born 4 months after my 37th Birthday. It was the best and possibly the longest day of my life (The 12 pages of notes and 3 midwives prove that point!!!).
I will say at this point that Luc was going to be our only child, but and a half years later I became pregnant again. Unfortunately I suffered a miscarriage after 3 months, a week before my 40th Birthday. But, on a brighter note I have since had another baby at the age of 41, the pregnancy was fraught but the labour was great, and that’s another story.
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