Separation Anxiety

What Is Separation Anxiety?

Separation Anxiety can be defined as “the developmental stage during which your child experiences anxiety when separated from you or whoever may be the primary care giver.”

Why Won’t My Child Let Go?

They probably will with time. Most settle after a few weeks. If your child seems clingy or cries constantly try waiting around outside the venue they’re at – party, play group etc, to see if the crying stops and reassure yourself that the anxiety has passed

Difficult though it is, separation anxiety is a part of growing and learning to handle new feelings.

What Shall I Do If My Child Really Won’t Settle?

In many ways an unwillingness to settle indicates that a strong bond has developed between child and care giver. However, your child has no concept of time and if you seemingly leave them behind somewhere, they have no idea if you will return.

What Triggers Separation Anxiety?

Triggers may include:-

Starting at nursery or pre-school
Staying with a child minder
Staying with another family member
Birth of a sibling
General changes to routine

What Can I Do To Make Life Easier?

Some simple exercises can help settling into a new environment easier:-

Visit the building they will soon be spending more time in to allow them to become familiar with it
Assure them that it’s a lovely place to be visiting
Tell stories about what they will be doing there
Try taking a favourite toy along
Stay for a little while on the first day and reassure your child that you will be returning to collect them later in the day
Don’t return and check that they are ok, this will only set them back a step

Toddlers develop at different rates and some take longer to settle in than others. If you are genuinely concerned, talk to the childminder, or nursery worker to see how your child behaves when you are not around.

If you are genuinely concerned about the quality of service you are receiving then it is perfectly appropriate to reassess your child care arrangements

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