Grandparents

Grandparents can often be a source of tremendous support, advice and practical help when a couple have a new born baby. In some situations however, the opposite can be true and what may be deemed helpful by one party is interpreted as interfering by the other. Establishing a mutually beneficial relationship between parents and grandparents from the start is crucial if it is to be rewarding to both parties and the child alike.

What are the benefits for my child?

Grandparents are likely to have free time, less pressure and more experience than you!
Grandparents are able to offer an alternate source of advice, information
Grandparents also offer children a link between the past and the present. They are a mine of stories of times gone by, and can teach children about their cultural heritage and family history.
Grandparents make trusted and reliable babysitter

I’m A Parent. What Can I Do To Ensure A Strong Relationship Between Myself, My Baby And The Baby’s Grandparents?

Grandparents are new to being grandparents just as you are new to being a parent try to to put yourselves under too much pressure.

try and keep things you would do differently in perspective. There is a huge difference between a grandparent allowing a child to eat chocolate between meals, and permitting something dangerous such as travelling in a car without a car seat or seat belt
try to have regular discussions about discipline, diet and other fundamental matters so that they know your views
try not to take your parents or parents-in-law for granted when it comes to babysitting. Remember they may have other plans so try not to assume they will automatically drop everything at short notice
agree with your partner the role you want grandparents to play in your child’s life, and lay down some ground rules
try to invite grandparents to your home for a family meal or to celebrate special occasions such as birthdays. This enables them to feel involved in family life
encourage grandparents to tell stories about their lives when they were young and what it was like when they were growing up
if grandparents do not live locally, arrange regular times for children to telephone grandparents to give them news and family gossip.

I’m A Grandparent. What Can I Do To Ensure A Strong Relationship Between Myself, My Grandchild And The Baby’s Parents?

try to respect the parents’ wishes, even if you are sure you know better.
try not to outdo parents in giving gifts or treats, particularly if money is tight for parents..
in families where both parents go out to work full-time, it can be extremely helpful to look after grandchildren. Reach agreement on what will and will not be involved before your child care starts.
be honest about your limitations. If looking after an active young child all day for five days a week is too much, say so.
ask for a financial contribution, if you would like one, towards the cost of meals, outings and so on
agree a date to revisit the initial arrangement and then to review the situation periodically.

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